The user manual for men; unclosing the mystery 2

“This is the secound of four articles about men. The article focuses on the man and his main life through the Yang Fire period, Territoriality, hormonal changes, the preference for being alone, Honor, sexuality, women, flirting, voice, pheronomes and much more. The angle of the article is a combination between Chinese medicine, Chinese psychology and Western science. Remember the article is provocative to stimulate growth. The references will be published on the seminars “Men and TCM”.

Welcome to read The user manual for Men part 2. Enjoy.”

Nils Volden

Boys in the Yang Fire period tend to experience the telescoping effect both stronger and more frequently than others. Telescoping is basically experiencing old things as relatively recent (backward t.) and distant events as close in time (forward t.). When testosterone increases we find the Yang Fire boy to lose his perception of time. What happened with him two years ago might be perceived as just some months ago. Asking about when this or that happened might create interesting answers. The more Yang he feeds his Shen the slower goes the time perception; Shen Yang. For example the more changes he perceives the longer time he experiences, and the fewer changes the shorter time. As the prefrontal cortex and hippocampus grows and matures we find the boy moving from living in time to experiencing passing time. This is an evidence of the maturation of his Shen caused by his Shen Yang. The awareness of time is intimately connected with attention development (Po related) and the short term memory (Yi related). As the years passes we find time moving faster and faster. In Yang Fire state we find the time still to move relatively slow, but as years are added the time move faster and faster. The more time lived the less do a day mean, and the faster do they pass.

This resetting starts around mid-Yang Fire period at the age of 12 years, and at the age of 15 boys is running 1 hour later than girls. Shíguāng (Time) is adjusted. Elevated levels of ADH are the main indicator for the arrival of territoriality. He wants to be the boss, and wherever he might get any credit he will get it; he want to feel like an alpha-male. Another aspect with ADH is its transformation of 感觉 Gǎnjué, perception. He starts to see neutral faces as unfriendly; a Fanying (defense mechanism) to protect his form others. Ganjue are normally related to visual observation and thereby liver zang, but Ganjue is also related to auditiv, tactile, olfato and taste. This makes us understand that Ganjue are related to a general process and not any distinct zang organ. Ganjue is a Fanying; nothing more and nothing less. When people come close he needs to quickly decide if the persons are friend or foe. The life of his offspring depends on this ADH ability – the Fanying Ganjue.

The main aspects in the Yang Fire period to pay attention to are: the hormones ADH (territoriality hormone), Testosterone (hormones for bounding, maleness, sex and aggression), and Cortisol (the stress hormone), the anatomical structures Pre-frontal cortex – PFC (an area connected to attention), and Amygdala (fear center). Changes in these aspects afflict the boy hard in this period, and we might find almost all the male pubertal problems related to these aspects. The focus is mainly on the present; future does not exist. Shiguang (time) is adjusted and creates visible changes in the pubertal boy. He focus on what he feels is important for him. He starts to get better prepared to protect and provide for his future territory, wife and offspring. To be able to protect and defend, he needs to become more Yang. Girls are attracted to this Yang oozing boy. His perceptions of reality change and he transform in all aspects. This development is a way for him to manage impulse and future; Wind aspects.

Even the boys hearing transforms as a result of his hormonal changes. As we know hearing in Chinese medicine are related to kidney zang. Most interesting are the boys perception of white noise (plain noise and repeated acoustic stimuli) after being exposed to testosterone. The male brain has the possibility to deactivate white noise, meaning to become deaf to some sounds. Something women often experience in men when they just answer “yes” and nodding the head without actually hearing to what was said. Hearing is intimately related to kidney zang and testosterone are often said to be the Yang hormone. This create a situation where a person gets a Yang change due to increased testosterone (Yang hormone), and as a result we find kidney yang increase. An elevated kidney yang state will make Zhi qi increase, making the person both think – and perceive in another way. Most visible are the intense focus on the important in the audio presented to him. So intense that he misses everything around. He subconsciously starts to preselect what he hears and not depending on the given situation; a Zhi Yang shi situation.

Boys are social animals, but not social as girls. Boys prefer to stay alone; away from extraordinary groupings. 独自 Dúzì, alone, is one of the aspects that characterize late Yang Fire period among boys or young adolescent. As Yang rises he prefers to be alone on safe distance to potential danger and competition. Extreme Yang will transform itself into Yin and self-implemented Duzi (alone). After entering puberty we find his testosterone levels to be elevated and with that many aspects in the brain get activated. On interesting aspect is rostral cingulate zone (RCZ). RCZ is the part of the brain that mainly occupies itself with social approval. The approvals of outsiders are considered as more important than approved from his kind, like his family and close friends; Wai (external – Yang) are considered more important than Nei (internal – Yin). This is a Fangwei, a social defense mechanism that makes us search for the common ground and stay there. If a person behaves like the rest, he will be socially accepted and fit into the society where he lives. Minds connect and personalities find peace. 社交 Shèjiāo or social interaction is considered as a main priority in this young man’s life, but he need to decide when and where. If he chooses he would like to live Duzi (alone).

A new aspect, 荣誉 Róngyù, honor enters the boy brain in this period. If something makes his Rongyu (honor) dirty he needs to clean it up quickly and hard. It does not matter much if the problem is of a minor importance, or that cleaning the honor would create a bigger mess (than letting it go). Rongyu need to be bestowed and restored. The importance for boys to look – and to be perceived as good in front of others is super important, making boys work hard to maintain and improve their position, reputation and honor. In Chinese psychology we normally connect Rongyu to the Pro personality, but in this context we might consider to relate it to Po Yang. For outsiders we might find all this posing in dominant positions, aggression and uncontrollable discussions as strange, but for the boys this serve a purpose. This is an activity that comes directly from the congenital essence and Li. This behavior was given to us by our ancestors to optimize the chance for having a healthy offspring. It helps boys to maintain their social hierarchy, and if they get good at it they might climb up to a better level. It is a game, a dance, just as the Peacock bird’s dances in front of their female counterparts to get the possibility to fornicate with them, boys play a role as dominating and aggressive to fill a role as strong and Alpha male – Yang. This is just 戏剧 Xìjù, a theater play, a hoax and has little to do with their real emotions. The chance for a fight is low since the displayed aggression is not real. Remember to divide between Xiju (theater) and a Liver Fire. Oh yes, sometimes boys fight, but not often. And if they fight, they normally fight due to something that happened, and not the displayed aggression – Xiju. In case of a competition (real or imagined) we find the male hormone cocktail increase (testosterone -, dopamine -, cortisol – and ADH levels increase) as the event come closer. At the mid of this cocktail we find the person experience a euphoria like sensation; 祺 Qí. If the boy loose he will experience a sudden drop in hormonal levels and thereby also a dramatic reduction in his euphoria; something that will be experienced as a personal disaster; 祸害 Huòhài.

Teenagers are made up of hormones. This is hormones that put the survival of the human race in front of the actual person. As we start to understand the key goal for boys are to become as close to the Alpha male as possible and to defend everything belonging to him. Receiving goodwill from the alpha male will make the alpha male assistant shine. It is not possible to have two Alphas in the same group; one has to step down. That is one of the main reasons why the teenagers want to move out of the house of their parents. They want to separate from their dad, to make them independent; to become in charge of their own life, create a family and get the possibility to become a real alpha. The first steps to this partial separation is seen when they start doing things different from their parents or liking different things. Here we speak about a different musical taste, different fashion, other sports, food and drinks on the like list. Roun personalities separate quickly and sudden, but Pro personalities separate in tactical moments. I personalities do not like to separate and tend to live close to their parents, Chenn personalities tend to do as told or like the culture require them to do, and Teche personalities will separate when it is proper to do so. As mention through slowly like different than the parents a distance is created. This is a primal way to slowly create a different rationale from their parents to make the separation easier. When strong indicators appear the parents should facilitate a separation. Teenagers leave their parents with a lot of bravery, but if done with a parental consent less harm would be made. The teenager likes risks and he searches for possibilities to push the limits. Often we might find this to be a risky affair without safety net. The parents should provide a safety net through guiding their offspring.

We might divide the brain to a teenager into Yin and Yang. Yang is activating and Yin is inhibiting. The Yang brain function is the first that activates. Mainly we connect the Yang to impulsive, fast and risk seeking. We might connect the Yang brain to Amygdala; often a liver Fire ignition site. The Yin brain function is the part that slowly thinks through things. It activates after the Yang brain function, and are more related to reduce the amount of impulsive dangerous things. We might connect Yin brain to the pre frontal cortex; calms liver Fire. One problem here is the Yang brain function starts to activate years before the Yin edition! We might say that the Yin edition mature around 24 years of age, or the entrance into Yang Metal time period (24-32 years of age); giving the Yang brain plenty of time to move around without a safety net.

性感 Xìnggǎn, sexuality is THE main topic for boys growing up. Their sexual interest, sexual focus and sexual tingling develops around the age of 12 years; mid-Yang Fire. Some innocent preparations for a successful reproductive life start as we have seen years before the copulation. In this preparation stage we also find boys starting to masturbate frequently, preparing him. To make it short, he is preparing his mating brain; physically and mentally.

Boys and men look more at the figure of a woman than her personality. If she is stupid or intelligent is secondary to a woman equipped with a nice body and perfect tits. More exactly, he scans the world for fertile female with an hourglass figure (large breasts, small waist and full hips) with a flat stomach. Attention is given to physical attributes and not intellectual attributes. He observes Yin and admires Yang. First step is Yin. He sees her congenital essence manifested in her body. He searches for the reproductive features in her Yin. The better Yin the more interested he gets. Flat stomach indicates that she is not pregnant. Full hips indicate a big birth channel and better chance for her survival when giving birth. Large breasts indicate that she can breast feed; not really true. Second step is Yang. He admires her energy and movements. He searches for a charismatically filled woman with a good physical shape with enough Qi to bring forward his offspring in her Yang. When a boy observes the female dream body we find the sexual pursuit are in the hypothalamus become activated. His complete attention freezes on her and to catch her; his psychic qi circulates around her alone.

Kidney zang is related to both our congenital essence and our sexual desires and – wishes. In this period we find the sexual interest increase dramatically as kidney zang enters a Yang state, meaning that the Yang Fire period heats up kidney yang and creates a deep movement on a sexual level. The man starts to awake to get offspring.

The male have as main priority to catch the best female present. If she is impossible catch he will go for number two on the list and so on. The women have as main priority to stay better than the other women. In that way she will be selected before the other women by the better men. In this “game” the participants need to give away small signals or clues to the other players, clues to indicate their participation. This is often done through non-verbal signals; non-verbal flirting signals. 交流 Jiāoliú is communication. Everything circulates around Jiaoliu (communication) between the man and the woman. No Jiaoliu, no connection. Open communication is Yan in nature and favors men, but hidden communication is Yin in nature and favors women. This is all the small innocent signals that a person transmits to others to signal that he is interested and ready to connect (and commit). The most common signals are eye contact and a simple smile. Some men are experts in this game, but in general women are considered more skilled than men. In Chinese psychology we say that Roun personalities are natural masters of seduction. Mostly due to experience, since they go in and out of relations all the time, but also due to their directness. An average Roun personality just does it and depending on who takes the bait he will continue or not. He frankly does it without any sensation of shame or – future complications. We cannot mention flirting without looking into the Pro personality. This personality is planned. He makes a strategy, prepared and executes his strategy towards a selected female. He functions as a type of “goal guided gigolo”. It is not random as for the Roun personality, the Pro personality is always living in the future imagining what he wants, and then he simply takes it.

The standard 目成 Mùchéng – flirting signs are eye contact, light tilted head, raised eyebrows and a smile; a touch of Yang.

The reply is often a head movement toward the other person, smile and leaning back the body a little; also a touch of Yang. When in speaking distance he need to sound confident and laid back, to be interested, only sufficient, and not desperate; a touch of Yin. At the same time he needs to signal that he wants to provide for her through offering drinks and food; to provide for her and her offspring. He have to help her with opening doors, carry her belongings, kindly remind her about things, invite and be there for her all the time; to protect her all the time against the dangers of the world. Women like men that exaggerate in their complements, making the male flirt with big letters; Yang in the expression. Men tend to use deception against women more frequently if they just want an affair; to seduce. Most common deceptions are to exaggerate their wealth, work and friends/ connections; image of being a super provider. In short, they tend to paint their socio-economic factors as good as possible or even better. A man will basically say just about anything to get in bed with a good looking woman. Okeay, VERY simplified!

It exist multiple factors in the mating game. Voice is one of them. For example, testosterone gives men a deep Yang voice and the estrogen guided woman gives a lighter Yin voice. In general Chinese medicine connects the voice, more specifically the strength of the voice to lung zang and the qi in Po. It is also normal to connect different tones in the voice to the five zang organs. A shouting, upset and whipping voice are related to liver zang, a laughing and round voice are related to heart zang, a worried, whimpering and circular voice are related to spleen zang, a sad and sharp voice are related to lung zang, and finally a slow, groaning and thinking voice are related to kidney zang.

Just to mention the normal analysis of the voice: If the voice is high and strong we normally name this a Shi or excess pattern, and if it is weak and low we say it is a Xu or deficiency pattern. If the person does not want to speak we say it is an indication of a Cold Xu symptom complex and if the person is very talk active we connect this as an indication of Heat. An acute hoarse voice is related to an exogenous pathogenic factor Wind Heat or Wind Cold. A lasting – or gradual loss of voice (total or partial) is normally a lung qi xu or lung yin xu. A clear voice with incoherent speech indicates a Shen Heat.

Depending on the quality in the sound, its volume and intrinsic qualities we might say something about the functions of the zang organs. Speaking about genders we find an instant analysis related to masculine – or feminine qualities in the voice. Men with a female voice will not attract women as a masculine voice. Women with a deep voice will be considered as a friend and not enter the competition for mating as the classical high pitched feminine voice. Male sexual attraction is to this feminine voice. The feminine voice is regarded as a better catch than the deep. Yang wants Yin, and Yin wants Yang. Some research has connected the deeper voice to good abilities as forager (search and gather). Women search for men with a deep Yang voice, making men adjust their voice accordingly. It is also normal to assume that men will search for a compatible voice, meaning that since the voice mirrors the dominant zang organ a person will search for a complementary partner. A complementary partner is a person that is located before or after in the Sheng cycle – the generating cycle. This is persons that complement, gives strength and that permits the other one to give; as the mother nourishes her child. For example a Lung zang dominated person will prefer a person that is Spleen zang (before) or Kidney zang (after). They will avoid the Ke cycle – the destructive cycle. This is persons that is not compatible, drain strength and takes from the other one; as a parasite. For example a Lung zang dominated person will avoid a person that is Heart zang. This will specially happen when heart zang is dominating and strong. Then we call this Chang cycle – overacting cycle. This is heart zang dominating lung zang; the grandmother controlling her grandchild. Another unfavorable mix is when the controlled zang organ is acting backward in the system. This we call Wu cycle – the insulting cycle. This is liver zang dominating lung zang; the grandchild controlling his grandmother. This selection based on organ is most likely to occur when a person have the privilege to select partner or after some years of relation; remember the high divorce rates.

Smell (pheromones) is another important theme when initiating a relation. Research has shown that to close genetics creates an aversion to the smell. Good genetic match give a like to the smell. The sense of smelling are connected to lung zang. When Yang hormones activates lung Yang we find the pheromones become automatically examined in a greater depth. An abnormal strong smell is normally connected to Heat pathology, but less smelling odors are closer related to Cold and Xu (deficiency). Sick people are not regarded as attractive. It is also normal to connect different smells to the five zang organs. A rancid goatish odor are related to liver zang, a burned odor are related to heart zang, a sweet fragrant odor are related to spleen zang, a rotten odor are related to lung zang, and finally a putrid odor are related to kidney zang. Depending on the quality in the odor, its intensity and intrinsic qualities we might say something about the functions of the zang organs.

When the man has found a proper woman and they have become intimate, they always kiss, but remember that a kiss is not just a kiss. Perhaps a proof of relationship, but it is more than a symbolic value to a kiss. It is an interchange of liquids, body fluids; 津液 Jīnyè. The mouth is filled with chemicals and products from organs. All kisses will lead to a Jinye liquid interchange. They are literally drinking each others saliva. The reason to this liquid interchange is a subconscious wish to investigate two essential elements; health and genetic match. If the liquid taste strange we might have detected health issues. If the liquid tastes sour it might indicate that their genetic might be too closely related. The male saliva will also arouse women sexually through its relatively high testosterone level; Yang hormone. The actual tasting of Jinye is built into the Congenital essence of both genders.

After the initial connection we find another game appears. Unconsciously the woman wants the protective caretaker and the man want sex to forward his genes. If the man forces himself to have sex at once or take contact with her to quickly he will appear desperate to the woman; Yang toward her. That will most likely reduce interest in him. She want him to demonstrate his ability to provide for her, making him pay food and drinks, invite her to the cinema and to be generous towards her; Yin toward her. It also helps to demonstrate his dominance and strength for her; Yang toward others. When she see him sweat she like him more. At the same time, the woman cannot jump in bed to quickly either. That will most likely make him think that she is easy to get in bed and less exclusive; Yang toward him. He wants to be sure that he is the father to her children; doubt creates insecurity. Never forget that a man wants his genetics to be forwarded to future generations. Women rushing into sex are more likely to finish as a one nightstand. Having this in mind we understand that the game is more complex than we thought. Men and women have the same goal with the relation, but have different strategies. Women have more the strategy; “show me love and commitment and I will spread your genes (give you sex and children)”; give me Yin. Men have to comply with this strategy win or loose.